Friday

A software engineer wrote


Subject: Failed Upgrade
 
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.  In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialisation, where it monitors all other system activity.
 
Applications such as Smoking 10.3, Boozing 2.5 and Saturday Night Pubs 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.  I cannot keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favourite applications like Night Club 4.3, Dance 'n' Drink 2.0 and Bachelor Party 7.77.  I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Once I tried to uninstall Wife 1.0 but got this error: "General Protection Fault in module House Security.  The Uninstallation will abort."
 
Can you help me, please?
 
Here was the reply from Tech Support:
 
Re: Failed Upgrade
 
This is a very common problem among men, but it is due mostly to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.  Wife 1.0  is actually an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.  It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.  It is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge Wife 1.0 from the system once installed.  You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not  designed to do this.  Some have  tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system.  Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support;"  this was given to you at time of registration with Wife 1.0. I recommend you  keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.  Having Wife 1.0 installed  myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults
(GPFs).  The best course of action will be to enter the command 
C:\APOLOGIZE.  In fact I would suggest you use this command every time Wife 1.0 crashes on your system.  Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve
the performance of Wife 1.0.  I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0 or Movies 4.5.  Do not, under any circumstances, install Visual Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.  Recent surveys show add-ons like Visual Dress 2.0, Diamond Necklace 3.0, and A Quick Tour To Temple 1.0 are the best.  Third Party tools supported by Wife 1.0 to allow it to run smoothly and effectively.

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